Friday, 29 November 2013
Sunday, 24 November 2013
Wednesday, 20 November 2013
Since Macca broke down last week we've had to make a few bus journeys, I can safely say it has been enlightening and that's putting it nicely! I noticed that the buses have notices up with certain seating rules and after observing other passengers I have come up with a few pointers to help others survive a bus journey...
1) THE SEATS AT THE FRONT These seats are supposed to be reserved for disabled or elderly passengers, but also parents with a pram. If you have a pram and need to sit here whatever you do avoid eye contact with the elderly as they board the bus, wow you just wouldn't believe the deathly ninja stares that come from them!
2) DON'T FALL ASLEEP Besdies the obvious, that you would miss your stop, there are many other dangers of falling asleep on the bus. The chance that there are a couple of school kids on the bus with a marker pen in their possession is highly likely, if you fall asleep then you're just asking for those whiskers, the porn tash or that pirate eye patch they've lovingly drawn on your face... If you're lucky enough to avoid this you still need to worry about embarrassing yourself, snoring, sleep talking, drooling. Not a good look for anyone!
3) WEAR A SCARF Preferably one you have sprayed a fragrance onto, you'll thank me for this one when you're sat next to Sir Farts-A-Lot!
4) MP3 Take your earphones with you, you'll need them to drown out the annoying voices, I guarantee you will hear at least one annoying conversation whilst on a bus journey and they're a great excuse to avoid talking to the random smelly weirdo that chose to sit next to you despite the fact the bus isn't even half full.
5) NO SINGING Whilst we're on the subject of MP3's, you must remember where you are, otherwise you could get carried away listening to your favourite tunes and let's face it, not many of us have the voice to pull off "Dancing Queen".
6) QUEUES Don't be fooled by the friendly looking pensioner who is stood behind you in the queue smiling sweetly at your tiny person who is sat nicely in the pram. When they're looking at you stood there with the pram, juggling your shopping bags they're plotting their move, be ready! When those bus doors open you need to be ready to run like Usain Bolt because believe me they will move at the speed of light to push past you to be first on the bus!
I'd love to hear of any other survival tips that any of you may have for bus journeys as I'll probably have a few more to go on before Macca is back on the road...
Sunday, 17 November 2013
Saturday, 16 November 2013
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